What was the point?

Reflections: 9 APR 72: Don and I have the ammo dump again…better than the defoliant storage yard.  Those guys come back to the barracks with sores all over there bodies.  Jeff said he was having trouble breathing.  Lt sent him to the medics with Sarge.  Sappers have been back since we were here last week, track all over the scrub grass has the hounds going nuts.  Followed two different tracks to the fence just east of the end of the airstrip this time.  Bullshit, they aint coming from Ho Hoa, the small ville just beyond the north end of the fence line.   every time we track them backwards they bring us here or near here.  The sappers we are plagued by are locals.  That’s for certain sure as far as I’m concerned.  I’m watching the ville like a hawk when I work here and I’m going to tell the guys to do the same.  There aint no damn berm here…just fence wire and mines.  Them little fuckers squirm through the mines like pit vipers.  Shift ends with no further sightings or sniffings either…damnit!  WTF, are we here for?  These fuckers are our damn neighbors.  Fuck it, it don’t men nuthin!
9 APR 15: I met with the shrink in the morning, then made my way to The Wall.  I hurried home only to miss Tai chi. I waited at starbucks for “H-wave” demo. I ended up in Wendy’s being demo’d right there no less. I thought she was going to ask me to pull my pants down to apply the electrodes???  She didn’t…thank God, I’ve never shown my bambi tat. I then ran home to change so I could race into San Fran for a 6pm screening of “The Last Days In Vietnam”, followed (and preceded) by copious consumptions of various liquid respinement, erm…refreshment.  There was also a sprinkling of very tasty snacks and wicked decadent deserts.  The highlight really was an awe inspiring speech from a true American hero, Capt Paul “Buddy” Bucha, US Army, recipient of the MoH.  IMO, the kind of guy guys like me would follow into hell for the right cause.  HOOAH!
The movie itself, though incredibly well done, was one of the most depressing of all movies.  It cements in one’s head the fact that we, the GREAT United States of America, let an entire people down.  Not just down but left to rot under communist slavery and mistreatment.  We did that!  Then we partied like it was 1999 for 40 years. Yes, let the good times roll…cuz, DAMN IT, IT DOES MEAN SOMETHING!  How can priorities get so skewed?
I watched yesterday’s warriors enduring a documentary about the fall of Saigon, the very symbol of our failure, gripping their chairs or their wives hands.  The booze flows freely and the stories grow in equal proportions to the amounts consumed. It seems that in spite of our numbers each of us is alone in our grief.
I will not drink. I cannot bear the surrender of these great warriors to oblivion. I choose to remember their spirits from another day. I remember when they soared with the eagle. I departed with a sense of closure.  I needn’t come this way again.

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