Some of you out there already know enough about my background to know I suffer from PTSD. For over 40 years I did nothing about it…well I drank and drugged it behind me. When I got clean and sober I no longer had that crutch and found that I had no clue how to deal with this malady and it damn near killed me…literally. It sure as hell messed up our “perfect” life. In reality I wasn’t living I was hiding. I foundered for years on the edge of insanity or worse.
One blessed day I happened on a group in LinkedIn that was made up of Vets and LEOs and other first responders. I stayed in the background for a while but eventually I hooked up with the founder of the group who over time figured out that I not only had a problem but I wasn’t dealing with it at all. He introduced me to his “coach”. A super lady who got through to me in time and opened doors for me that I hadn’t seen before. Now I wont say I’m cured; that doesn’t happen. What I am though is living, loving and feeling things I hadn’t felt in years. Perhaps the biggest of those was confidence. Confidence that with help I could live a life that wasn’t obscured by my past. I get that help daily from coach’s writings and weekly in counseling at a VET Center and more at my local VA facility. Understand that I wrote the VA off 40 years ago. Now I feel almost attached at the hip. I know the VA has a bad Rep but there are good people who work there too. I happened to find the good ones and they are bending over backwards for me much like coach does.
Things are so much better now. I still deal with anger and depression a lot but I AM dealing. This is life as it was meant to be and I love it.
If your not dealing ladies and gents, get help. We are the best and we’ve paid the price. It’s okay to take a little back. They damn well owe it to us and I’m here to tell you that if you persist, they will provide that help. There are a slew of PTSD sites on the net you can go to also and any VET Center will be honored to help.
My suggestion for a start, visit Coach Judi’s site. Connect with her. She is what recovery is all about and she will never turn her back on you. Give it a shot. Don’t try to do this alone. None of us are capable. This monster, PTSD, is way too powerful .