PTSD – are you living, loving, feeling or burying your life.

Some of you out there already know enough about my background to know I suffer from PTSD.  For over 40 years I did nothing about it…well I drank and drugged it behind me.  When I got clean and sober I no longer had that crutch and found that I had no clue how to deal with this malady and it damn near killed me…literally.  It sure as hell messed up our “perfect” life.  In reality I wasn’t living I was hiding.  I foundered for years on the edge of insanity or worse.

One blessed day I happened on a group in LinkedIn that was made up of Vets and LEOs and other first responders.  I stayed in the background for a while but eventually I hooked up with the founder of the group who over time figured out that I not only had a problem but I wasn’t dealing with it at all.  He introduced me to his “coach”.  A super lady who got through to me in time and opened doors for me that I hadn’t seen before.  Now I wont say I’m cured; that doesn’t happen.  What I am though is living, loving and feeling things I hadn’t felt in years.  Perhaps the biggest of those was confidence.  Confidence that with help I could live a life that wasn’t obscured by my past.  I get that help daily from coach’s writings and weekly in counseling at a VET Center and more at my local VA facility.  Understand that I wrote the VA off 40 years ago.  Now I feel almost attached at the hip.  I know the VA has a bad Rep but there are good people who work there too.  I happened to find the good ones and they are bending over backwards for me much like coach does.

Things are so much better now.  I still deal with anger and depression a lot but I AM dealing.  This is life as it was meant to be and I love it.

If your not dealing ladies and gents, get help.  We are the best and we’ve paid the price.  It’s okay to take a little back.  They damn well owe it to us and I’m here to tell you that if you persist, they will provide that help.  There are a slew of PTSD sites on the net you can go to also and any VET Center will be honored to help.

My suggestion for a start, visit Coach Judi’s site.  Connect with her.  She is what recovery is all about and she will never turn her back on you.  Give it a shot.  Don’t try to do this alone.  None of us are capable.  This monster, PTSD, is way too powerful .

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